The way I feel these days is that my life is full of big wonders that I suppose could be called blesssings. If someone had told me as short a time as three years ago that I would now have three books out; that one of them would have won a major award; and that every week would bring some wonderful little gift with regard to writing, I would have been skeptical. And yet, that’s where I find myself now. The crazy thing is, I find it hard to believe. People say I “deserve” the success I’m enjoying, but I’m not sure what that means.
I know that they mean all the hard work I’ve put in is finally being rewarded. But what I also know is that there are a lot of writers out there working just as hard. They struggle every day to improve their writing: to find their voice, the plot and characters and setting that will feel right; or to find an agent or publisher who will love their book and take a chance on it; or to find an audience for a book that has finally been published. I am mindful every day that it was a piece of incredible luck that my books have found a publishing home and an audience and mindful that there are many witers out there just as deserving.
Sometimes these huge blessings sometimes obscure the small ones, and in recent days I’ve tried to be mindful of the small ones. On a walk I see a sudden, unexpected out-of-season rose, or a rich green tableau of succulents, or a tree bare of leaves but with a gorgeous trunk. Small blessings of every day life that are there for the enjoyment of anyone who takes the time to see. Today I saw a lovely, juicy baby whose mother was tending it with love and care and the baby was gurgling with contentment. A small blessing to witness.
I flew to Los Angeles this morning so I could drive back home with my son. We had a lovely, relaxed road trip and now we are in my living room, ready to spend the Thanksgiving weekend together. That is a fine blessing indeed. I’d call it a big one. We’ll have a lot of little blessings along the way—cooking together, watching ridiculous movies, having a few laughs.
I hope I never get so ensconced in the big blessings that I forget to pay attention to the small ones.