Barry Eisler is last but not least

Rounding out our virtual vacation month is Barry Eisler--he of the fabulous Rain thrillers. I've been bugging him all month for a blog and he's been kind enough to send me one, in spite of a schedule that would make lesser men keel over:

Enjoy:

I'm back from the Requiem for an Assassin tour and recovering nicely.  Coast-to-coast in a month, and 200 bookstores in the first 15 days... couldn't do it without green tea, I'll tell you that.

One of the things I find frustrating about book tours is that I see and hear so many interesting things, yet rarely have time to adequately consider them.  My thanks to the Lady Killers for giving me the opportunity and incentive to reflect on this one:

En route from a signing at Once Upon a Crime in Minneapolis to Mystery One in Milwaukee, I made a gas stop at the Interstate 90 Citgo in DeForest, Wisconsin.  County Road V, the home of this particular Citgo, has a distinct "middle of nowhere" feel to it, and it's clear the service station, a lonely affair that with the addition of just a bit of tumbleweed would be the very archetype of roadside isolation, owes its existence to the travelers attracted by its tall sign from the nearby highway.  In addition to gasoline and diesel, there's the usual compliment of motorist-centric sundries:  snacks, cigarettes, maps, hot coffee.  All routine, expected, even comforting in the middle of yet another long drive... so I was bemused to discover, when I visited the restroom, a vending machine armed with a surprising array of what might loosely be called "sexual paraphernalia," said paraphernalia consisting of the following:

"Rugged and Ready" condoms, described as "Super studded with dozens of formed rubber studs."

"The Hugger" condom, described as "The slimmer fit... Uniquely designed not to stretch."

And then there was "Extreme Sensation" lubricant, which is of course "A totally new gel that will create a tingling sensation and electrify her senses."

Hmmmm....

It's the little mysteries that fascinate me.  The single shoes that have managed to find themselves alone by the side of the road.  Why Clive Peeling's Reptile Land is located on US Route 15 in Pennsylvania.  How Bush FDA appointee David Hager, a trained obstetrician-gynecologist, could claim that the reason his wife of 32 years divorced him for repeatedly anally raping her was because he kept, ah, "missing." (I'm not making this up:   http://www.thenation.com/doc/20050530/mcgarvey.  And check out Bill Maher's hilarious take at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCegWgXjk4Y).

And now, how there could be sufficient demand among the good people of DeForest, Wisconsin to support a vending machine like the one I saw in that Citgo.  Something in the DeForest water?  Universal urges, coupled with geographically-specific shame about buying the tools of the trade (not that I've ever thought of "The Hugger" as a tool of the trade) in a local store?  I just want to know:  who is pumping enough quarters into that machine to support the company that refills it?  And why?  Help me out, people, please, so I can sleep again!

Reporting these things as I find them, I remain

Your humble correspondent,

Barry

And a note from Rhys--I'm actually glad he didn't send me any photos!!!

Comments

[Jessie]

LOL Barry! I somehow doubt that there were, in fact, enough people buying the sexual... aids to keep the supplier in business. Just for giggles, you really should have bought one and checked out the expiration date. That is, if the wrapper and condom didn't crumble into a fine dust the moment it was exposed to light.

[calvin stanfield]

How Bush FDA appointee David Hager, a trained obstetrician-gynecologist, could claim that the reason his wife of 32 years divorced him for repeatedly anally raping her was because he kept, ah, "missing." Are we talkn misfiring? like cant make it shoot or missing as in missing the target location and hitn the back door? and what is she whining about, most girls like the back door action. if they say they dont like it, theyre lying. hahaha

[Capt.]

Sadly, I have been to that gas station, I have never donated to the sexual welfare of it, but trust me, I travel all over between MN & WI and those machines are everywhere. You ask who keeps them in business, my guess would be the truckers or the horny high school kids too scared to goto the pharmacy.

[Patti Whitney]

Thanks for your views on the condoms you saw, I bet most of them are dated from at least a year gone by, so maybe, it is a very bad joke on the folks there, or the truckers, lol.! And the guy who kept missing, maybe a woman was new to him, mayber more familiar with animals, just a thought! LMAO MISS P IN AZ (STILL LAUGHING)