Tales from the Road

One must have a sense of humor while traveling. Since I don’t fly, I miss the traumas of the usual sort, but trains and buses aren’t far behind in interesting moments. And then there are hotels…

For the most part, I like Amtrak. The railroad staff is great, and many have good stories about their experiences. They are also incredibly knowledgeable about historical and geographic details of the train routes. Dining car food has improved from unrecognizable to quite edible, and arrival times are now pretty close to schedule, instead of sometime within a twenty-four hour range. 

But the quality and design of the cars are a bad joke. Toilets have been known to go out at high elevations. Decisions based on funding cutbacks can also be exciting. As an economy measure on one trip, only one attendant was allowed for two cars. That meant I had to toss my luggage from the door (after someone figured out how to open it), get down on my rear, and leap out at my stop, a drop of a few feet. Thank heavens I left the days of high heels and gloves behind!

I have also taken the bus. That has provided a unique education. Want to know about ex-cons who drive big trucks and take a variety of drugs? I have a story. Fancy sitting behind a guy weighing about 300 lbs, mostly muscle, who talks to himself and gets increasingly belligerent while the bus travels the desert between Barstow and Bakersfield? What warmed my heart was the driver saying he got one of these a week. I felt so lucky. 

So, you say, that is just what you get for not flying. Agreed, except I might have outrun the 300 pound guy in the desert, or found a rattlesnake to throw at him, but I don’t see many options 36,000 miles up. 

Off to hotel stories. Food can be interesting. I once ordered Tuscan chicken for dinner. It turned out to be a greasier version of that famous national fast food brand. Southern Mediterranean perhaps? At one hotel I was told how lucky I was that they served real Columbian coffee. Made me wonder if other hotels just dyed the water? 

But my favorite hotel tale was the time I arrived several hours late due to a little conflict between freight train and Amtrak priority. “No problem!” I was told and “you will be thrilled with the room”. When I walked in, I looked around and wondered if I had been given a meeting room by mistake. No, there was a bed in the middle of the floor: a cot with a seat belt wrapped around it. At least there was a bathroom with shower. The only problem was that it took 20 minutes for the hot water to rise 26 floors. Thrilled? 

None of this keeps me from traveling. I have gotten to see interesting parts of the country, talked to fascinating people, and even sold a few books in the dining car. What is life without an adventure or two?

Comments

[Camille Minichino]

No wonder trains are the setting for so many great adventure stories -- though they're mostly pictured as much more luxurious than yours, Priscilla! Have you ever written a piece of fiction based on these travels?

[Priscilla]

No, I haven't, Camille. But even Agatha Christie hadn't heard all the stories. There was one about the corpse...

[Mysti Berry]

I wanted to try the train again for Left Coast Crime, but not enough vacation time for the 1-2 day cushion on either end. I did love all the lovely time to write :)

Hope your next hotel adventure is of the upgrade variety :)

[Priscilla]

Most of my hotel experiences have been good, Mysti. As for the next LCC, I am not going either. It is too hard to judge time since snow is still possible and transport to the LCC location is dicey. Am taking Amtrak to Albany NY though for B'con. Did that once and the train went right through the small town where my grandfather was born. Fun.

[Ann]

Your hotel story made me laugh out loud (even though there was a thread of horror running through my guffaw).
I agree with Camille: You should write some of these tales up as short essays, and bundle them up as a little e-book offering or some such!

[Priscilla]

Thanks, Ann. And I left out the story of arriviing in Phoenix at 3 AM and getting a cabbie who did not know where my hotel was, even after he tried to get directions....but then I had this experience in SF too when the guy did not know where the Stockton Street Garage was. Duh! When the day comes and I finally get a smartphone, it will have GPS.