Chances are everyone has been hurt at one time or another in their life and we all handle situations differently. Instead of becoming a victim, try to put a positive spin on the situation and see if there’s something that you can really learn from the experience. Easy to say but difficult to accomplish when you’re in the moment of despair. I admit, there are some things I cannot forgive or forget, and when least expected, they'll pop into my head and suddenly I’m back to dwelling on whatever it is.
Early on, we suffer from hurt feelings; we learn not to be so trusting, or not to get into a situation where our instinct tells us to run. Whatever the circumstances, it can shape our future interactions, turn us into introverts, and make us fearful of close relationships. There was a situation in college that haunted me for years. I was an innocent victim but too shy and too insecure to speak up to defend myself and dropped out of the sorority. Some things cannot be forgiven.
I’ve read that forgiving can relieve stress. Really? Then why have I been on blood pressure meds for years? I guess I should add “suspicious” to the list. Sometimes I’m suspicious when things are going really well. Admittedly, it depends on the situation, and if it’s something that began years ago when you were a child and out of your control, and if that person has now passed on, you have to try to let it go before it drives you crazy. I also read forgiveness is a choice. You can decide to start forgiving and stop harboring all of those feelings of hostility as soon as you want. Forgiving is a process; forgetting won’t happen over night.
On a lighter note, I forgive those New York agents who rejected my first attempt at writing a novel all those years ago. I’ve taken it out of hiding and think I have a chance of getting it published after I update the computers, phones, vehicles, and weapons. I still like the plot, the characters, and the location (Martha’s Vineyard). Interesting how there’s always a vineyard in my books.
Whew, who chose this theme? It has been the most difficult post I’ve ever written.