The LadyKillers

The Beginning of the End

So, I'm just starting on the sixth -- and final -- book in my Underworld Detection Agency series when my agent sends me a benign little email, "BTW, forgot to ask: how are you feeling about ending the series? Happy? Sad? Somewhere in between?"

I had decided long ago to end the series on the sixth book, which will finish the natural arc the characters have been on for the past five. And in those past five I have pulled my hair out, swore up and down that I'd never write another series, wistfully dreamed about all the story lines I could write and molest once I wasn't tied to a town, a gang, a particular food choice (Sophie is a sucker for chocolate marshmallow pinwheels). But now that it's here... I'm not happy. I'm not sad, either. I'm somewhere in between, suspended in that "my children will never leave me" headspace, yet terrifyingly aware that in 70,000 short words, I'll have to type the two I'm beginning to dread: The End. Because it will be the end.

And I'd like to be all adult and philosophical and say something worthy of engraving or bellowing in impassioned speeches like, "A character, once inscribed, will never die!" But I'm hardly the bellowing type.

Sort of.

I also know that I've fallen in love with characters well past their prime -- like Anne, who had been in those Green Gables a good 75 years before I cracked that spine, and good ole' Freddie and Flossie Bobbsey who were probably tossing one back at their local while I was engrossed in their Red, White, and Blue Mystery (vol. 64).

But it's still hard to let go. I love answering fan questions about Sophie -- who she'll end up with (it happens in books six!), will she ever catch a break (not likely), will she ever look like the chick on the covers? (in her dreams). I like hearing, "Will would be so happy with the way Arsenal played today," and, "Steve the troll reminds me of my boss!" I know Sophie and the gang will live on -- literarily, through the series, and live actionally (no, seriously, they're totally words.) with the new web series based on Vlad's early adventures. (check out the UDA Channel on YouTube!)

I would love for someone to fall in love with Sophie's misadventures 20 years after the fact. I hope that I've created characters and story lines that connect with readers now and years from now. And for everything I write after the Underworld Detection Agency series, I'll have to thank Sophie for. I cut my fangs on the Underworld and if it weren't for that series, I wouldn't be able to crack open a new book, start a new series, turn the page in a new genre.

I'm still not sure if I'm happy or sad, but I am satisfied that Sophie and the UDA will end on a high note with a great adventure. And I'm happier still that we'll go out with a good title, never having to resort to the lowest common Under denominator -- Under Wear.

 

News and Creativity

NEWS FLASHES!!

• Staci McLaughlin's All Natural Murder, the second in the Blossom Valley Mysteries, will be available this Tuesday, February 5th.
• Sharan Newman's Death Before Compline, a collection of short stories, is now available from Arizona Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies (Bagwyn Books).
• Last Friday, Hannah Jayne sold Brazilian rights to her upcoming YA thriller Truly, Madly, Deadly. She adds, "My first-ever international sale :) "

Next Up: CREATIVITY

Type "Creativity" into Google search and the yield is 196,000,0000 results in 0.24 seconds! Why, "kittens" yields only 65,100,000 results (and that takes 0.26 seconds, so there). Could it be that creativity is of more interest than kittens in the virtual world?

While you ponder that earth-shaking proposition, here are some quotes on creativity from creative people:

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." ~Vincent Van Gogh

"You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club." ~Jack London

Creativity takes courage. ~Henri Matisse

 

News, Fave Crime Flicks, and Whatcha Watchin'

NEWS FLASHES!!

• Terry Shames will be zipping off to Costa Rica. For research? For R&R? It's a mystery! ;-)
• Mystery author Donis Casey will be our honored guest this coming Wednesday.

GET OUT THE POPCORN

The next topic on our plates is FAVE CRIME FLICKS. Movies, oh boy!! Rev up your Netflix account and get ready to add a whole lot more to your "gotta see" lists.

WHATCHA WATCHIN'?

We asked the LadyKillers to name the latest movie they saw and give us their opinion in three (or so) words...

• Terry Shames: "Walked out of Django. Can't Tarantino think of anything else to do besides spray bullets and blood?"
• Rita Lakin: "Intouchables.  Wonderful, don't miss it."
• Ann Parker: "Zero Dark Thirty... Four-word opinion:  Action = yes; Character development = ?"
• Hannah Jayne: "Last week I was knocked out with the flu and found myself watching An Amish Murder on Lifetime. In three words: Hm. Huh? Nyquil."
• Priscilla Royal: "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Two word review: Maggie Smith.
• Michael A. Black: "I had the misfortune of seeing Arnold's latest movie, The Last Stand. It was so bad it would be hard to sum up in three words, but I'll try: Shoulda been impeached. I'd give it two stars out of four. Mediocrity at its finest."
• Carole Price: "Lincoln. First half was a sleeper, at least for me. I've never been too interested in court scenes."
• Pat Morin: "Believe it or not, the last movie we saw was RIO, in 3D. Fun, fun, fun."
• Sharan Newman: "HUGO.  I loved the fantasy of the boy living on his own in the Metro station  blended with the fantasy that the early silent movie director put on the screen.  I could watch it over and over."

How Not to Write a Mystery

One of the most important ways to learn how to do things, is by becoming familiar with how not to do things. This has been my (sometimes unfortunate) mantra in life. Perhaps it's because I'm hard-headed, perhaps it's because I've never been good with the phrases "you must/don't ever." Either way, the advice is sage. Consider: I learned how not to get Danny Wood (member of the 1994-big-haired-Hannah's fantasy life/New Kids on the Block) to fall madly in love with me by stealing his mail then showing up on his doorstep all knight-ess in shining armour to return it. Because that, my friends, is a felony. One thing not to do gets me closer to the one thing to do, yes? Perhaps, but first I have to make bail.

And back to writing. When it comes to writing mysteries, in particular, throwing out the occasional red herring is a good thing. Creating the literary equivalent to a flashing red arrow to your killer on page two goes into the not file. Ditto with tossing in a last-page twist killer who we've never met up until that moment: "ah ha! The killer is Sally's Uncle Hal who was thought to be sheep herding in Alaska all this time but had some sheep herding grudge from way back, inspiring his murderous rampage!" (Perhaps his issue was that sheep don't thrive in Alaska and even if they did, they'd be really hard to find in the snow).

I'm currently writing my 8th mystery, but I'm still learning. Like yesterday, I learned NOT to splash coffee on my laptop, lest the keys stick in the cinnamon-brown sugar laced mess and, perhaps a bigger lesson, it fries the crap out of said computer's innards and you will cry. A lot.

Obviously, I shouldn't have been saving money for bail (I'm smart enough to never repeat a lesson and I'm mostly over Danny Wood). I should have been saving for a beverage-free laptop.

Or a sippy cup.

News and Self-Discipline

NEWS FLASHES!!

• Michael A. Black's third Leal and Hart novel, Sacrificial Offerings, just came out in hardcover from Five Star.
• Michael also has a short story titled "The Black Rose" in a recently released e-book anthology called Protectors: Stories to Benefit PROTECT. PROTECT is a national organization affiliated with author Andrew Vachss that works to protect children by lobbying for passing legislation designed to prevent child abuse. All the proceeds go to PROTECT. Other contributing authors include Patti Abbott, Ken Bruen, George Pelecanos, and Joe Landsdale, and Vachss, among many more. For more about the cause and the book, and to buy it (in its many different e-book forms), go to http://the-lost-children.blogspot.com/p/protectors-stories-to-benefit-protect.html. The direct link to amazon is right here.

• Staci McLaughlin, Penny Warner, Ann Parker, and mystery author Carole Price continue their Murder in the Valley events this week:
  • Thursday, September 13, 7:00 p.m., at Towne Center Books in Pleasanton, California.
  • Saturday, September 15, 1:00 p.m., at  Orinda Books, Orinda, California.
• This Thursday is Diana Orgain's last scheduled post at the LadyKillers. Be sure to drop in and wish her well with all her writings! We hope she'll drop on in for a guest post and let us know what she's up to. Hannah Jane will move in and be trading Thursdays with Staci McLaughlin.
• Mary Anna Evans will be conducting a writing workshop at Murder on the Beach in Delray Beach, Florida on Saturday, September 15, from 10 am to noon.
• Mary Anna will also be speaking at the Ponte Vedra Library in Ponte Vedra, Florida on Monday, September 17, at 6:30 p.m.

Next Up: SELF-DISCIPLINE

The LadyKillers tackle the topic of self-discipline this coming week... some, no doubt, will attack it in a more disciplined style than others. Be sure to come visit and see what they have to say!

"The first and best victory is to conquer yourself." ~Plato

News plus Sex and Violence next week

CH-CH-CHANGES AT THE LADYKILLERS

September is here and changes are in the air...

Diana Orgain (Thursdays) is sliding out the side door to exit, stage left (as we all cry, "Bon Voyage! Come back and visit! We'll miss you!"), with her last regular post with us being September 16. Hannah Jayne, who has been splitting the every-other-Thursday spot with Diana, will take over the spot "full time."

In another  change in the lineup, Staci McLaughlin and Ann Parker are switching posting days starting this coming week: Staci will take the Thursday slot opposite Hannah, and Ann will be checking in every-other-Saturday in her jammies. (What? Who says? She will not!)

NEWS FLASHES

• LadyKillers Staci McLaughlin, Penny Warner, and Ann Parker join fellow mystery author Carole Price for the Mystery in the Valley Tour, starting this week at:
  • Thursday, September 6, 7 p.m., Rakestraw Books, Danville, California
  • Friday, September 7, 7 p.m., Bay Books, San Ramon, California
  • Sunday, September 9, 3 p.m., Read Booksellers, Danville, California
• Camille Minichino will be discussing Ann Parker's Mercury's Rise on Tuesday, September 4, 6:30 pm at the Castro Valley Library.
  

NEXT WEEK: SEX AND VIOLENCE

... As one anonymous LadyKiller said, upon hearing of this upcoming week's topic: "One's good and one's bad. End of post."

Some crime fiction novels go with one, some go with another, some don't have either, and some have both. So, there appears to be something for everyone, no matter what your reading tastes. Come join the LadyKillers this week with your cuppa, and weigh in on the topic.

 

Knock, Knock

I've been writing since the second grade, and in that (unfortunately long) time, I've met amazing writers, taken some incredible courses and workshops, and garnered a huge amount of writerly advice -- some asked for, some not.

I've learned that adverbs are a mortal sin (forgive me, writing Lord, for I have sinned. Repeatedly.)

That one character must die within the first five pages of a mystery, and the hero and heroine must meet by the end of the first page in romance or your entire manuscript is sunk (cue the iceberg).

A creative writing teacher once screamed that there was never a use for any dialogue tag other than "said." (See what I did there?)

I've been told that one should "write what you know" which either makes me a fascinating individual or the soon-to-be inhabit-er of a padded room with my very own straight jacket.

I've gotten advice on every writing habit, word choice, or career move I've ever made, but the best advice -- the advice I use on a daily basis -- came from a seven-year old kid. He was asked what he would do if, after coming home from a day of play, he found his front door locked. The kid shrugged and said, "I'd knock."

"What if no one answers?" the questioner asked.

"I'd just keep knocking until someone opened the door."

I had that phrase: "keep knocking until someone opened the door" taped in my office when I was querying editors and agents. I moved it to my computer when my manuscript was making the publishing house rounds. I rewrote it when my first book came out and I wanted people to review it. So why, four books later, do I still have that kid's wise words taped to my screen?

Because if you want anything in life -- to sell your first book or to become a New York Times bestseller, you could avoid all adverbs, kill and/or mate all of your characters, or write about your last trip to the dentist. All of those might help -- if you're willing to brave the elements, stand out on the porch, and keep knocking until someone opens the door.

Can I Choose Them All?

My favorite authors -- much like my favorite books -- are clear indicators of the stages of my life. Forget a photograph -- a book and it's author can sum up every memory needed for me.

• Elementary School (When I wanted to be a spy): E.L. Konisgburg's From The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

 

-Thirty years later, I still find myself considering stealing away to The Met should this writing business not pan out.

• Junior High (When I wanted to be blond, named something like Jennifer or Stacie (dotted with a heart) and date a guy in a letterman's jacket): Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High/Twins series

-Just a few months ago, I had the opportunity to sip coffee with Sweet Valley's amazing author Francine Pascal; when I admitted that I told everyone in school I wasn't too upset over Jeff Nichols' dumping me because my real boyfriend was "all-American-guy Todd Wilkins," she didn't seem all that surprised.

• High School (When the problems of an upper-middle class white girl with a Honda Accord are nothing short of smothering): Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar

-Because nobody knows the trouble I've seen (spiral perms! Color Me Badd! Stretch pants!).

• College (When I still believed that writing the Great American Novel and becoming rich weren't mutually exclusive): Jill McCorkle's July 7th and The Cheerleader

-The world was my oyster, and for some reason, I developed a Southern drawl (even after leaving Duke) and a desperate need to include a matriarch and a biscuit reference in every book. 

• Post college (When my life was all pink-and-ecru Martha Stewart Wedding magazines and olive boats): Anna Maxted's Behaving Like Adults

-I'm still reasonably proud of myself for not developing (or at least adhering to) a British accent at this particular stage. Also, I hate olives, so the need for them to become seafaring still eludes me. But it seemed really damn important when I was 22.

• Post-post college (When I realized that I am, quite possibly, the last single woman in America and informercials seem to be hocking some really useful things): Jonathan Hayes' Precious Blood

-Does that read as bitter/completly given up as I think it might?

Dedicated...

I wrote at least five hundred dedications before I wrote my first novel. Most of these dedications were jotted off mentally during emotionally stimulating times -- at traffic lights; while sitting in various (shrink's) waiting rooms; somewhere between lather, rise and repeat. They were always beautiful, poignant, and gut wrenching, even if the book they would (theoretically) be attached to was not. I dedicated young adult novels to kids who were bullied. Murder mysteries to those unsolved who are still searching. A romance to a young wife whose obituary turned up in the local paper. A valor novel I would never even attempt to write to the heroes of 9-11.

And then, eventually, when the real novel was written, my editor called me to say, "by the way, go ahead and send in your dedication pages, too." Ah ha! I was titillated. It was finally time to thank all of those who meant so much to me, who inspired me along the way -- favorite teachers, favorite authors, friends who offered hope and words of wisdom. So I sat down to my blank screen and eyed the cursor, throbbing, like a heartbeat. I set my fingers to keys and opened my heart...and this is what came out.

I figured I should thank my parents. And God. And my agent, my editor, my publishing house. Possibly Steve Jobs. My copy-editor, the guy at Kinko's, my first fans. I wrote and wrote until my dedication read like an MTV music awards acceptance speech but with slightly better grammar and fewer cuss words. Then I erased it all and started again. Mom, Dad, God, my brother, the cats, Coke Zero, whoever invented Biore Pore Perfect Strips (because writing a great murder scene while clearing your pores? Priceless.), Ben & Jerry. Jack Daniels. Strunk and White.

No. Not good enough.

I started again -- Mom, Dad, God, my brother, the cats, the Lifetime Channel, Dr. Robin Zazio who always helps the messy people on Hoarders, the good people at Hersheys, Office Depot, the San Jose Police Department, the guy at Falafel Drive Thru who always tucks in an extra sauce, the person who invented Lycra but not the one who invented Spandex, and Joss Whedon.

It certainly didn't have the same zing or poingancy I once thought it would, but those were all people and things who helped me write, helped move my story along, or kept my butt warm when my jeans no longer fit (thanks to the good people at Hersheys). Important, but not imperative.

And then it hit me. All of the above was the dedicated product of one thing -- of one woman. And so my dedication was this:

    "To Vi Sullivan, my 2nd grade teacher. I don't know where you are, but I'm here because of you. Thanks for giving me pen, paper, and my whole world."

Letters from Readers - An Unlikely Hero

Not too long ago I blogged about my sojourn to the Romantic Times Book Lover's Conference in Chicago, Il. There, I met with fans who greeted me with wide eyes and books* clutched to their chests saying things like "I just looooove Alex Grace!" (the hero in some of my novels), or "is there going to be more Vlad? He's so sexy!" (my sour-puss, 113 year old teen vamp). Even, "I just started reading about Will. Hawwwt!" I figured I might get some reader letters swooning over Alex's dark curls, Vlad's brooding charm, or Will's soccer-God sculpt, which was why I was so surprised to find the following in my inbox one morning:

"Dear Ms. Jayne,

I really love your Underworld Detection Agency books. They are terrifically funny and original, but what I'm really writing about is your portrayal of Trolls in the book. It's not very often that you find a paranormal book as pro-troll as yours. I found it refreshing. While I found Alex Grace appealing in a stereo-typical (sic) romance novel hero kind of way, I was really drawn to Steve, the lichen covered troll. Will he be featured in more books? Have you considered writing a book from his perspective, or maybe making him more of the hero? I would love to discover more books that give trolls the credit they deserve.

Sincerely,

A Fan"

Though I still get scores more letters referencing my novel's "Hot Squad" of vampires, fallen angels, and Guardians, a solid trickle has come in swooning over Steve the Troll -- snaggled teeth, bleu cheese odor, and all. Steve's fans never cease to make me grin. And that's just another reason why I write: so even the underdog can be a hero.

 

*Okay, so the "books" they were clutching to their collective bosom were generally from romantic hard-hitters like Julia Quinn and Jill Shalvis, but this isn't their blog, now is it?