The LadyKillers

Dialogue? Mais oui!

Update from LadyKillers Admin... Sharan Newman's day-to-day dialogues are probably in French these days as she is on a lovely vacation in France!

Here is a photo of the Cathedral in Rouen, taken by Sharan just a couple of days ago. Voyages heureux, Sharan!

The Echo of Long-Ago Voices

Ann Parker here, every other Thursday bloggin' at the LadyKillers. When it comes to dialogue, I count myself lucky among historical writers in that my venue is late nineteenth century United States. (Priscilla, who writes books set in the medieval timeframe, has a much harder row to hoe...)

I can pick up tips on the language and slang of the day as well as the cadence of the spoken word in all sorts of places for my fictional endeavors. As I scan newspaper articles and books written in my particular era of interest (late 1870s to early 1880s), I sometimes feel like a language-obsessed magpie, always looking for that shiny word or "just right" turn of phrase to collect and hoard away. 

For instance, here's a short page from New Colorado and the Santa Fe Trail by A. A. Hayes, copyright 1880. (I captured this image from Google books, but I also have a hardcopy, which is a joy to hold in my hands. More about that topic over here.) You can click on the image itself for a closer look at both text and picture.

The cool thing about this excerpt (along with the etching) is the verbal back and forth between a couple of folks riding in a stagecoach heading from Denver "over the Divide."

You have a proper clergyman from back East—who indeed speaks very properly—and a fellow traveler with the appearance of a "road agent" (what a great term, yes?)—who is a lot looser with his commentary and free-er with the slang.

Look at this lovely bit of dialogue between them, beginning with the fierce-looking fellow:

"Stranger, do you irrigate?"

"If you mean drink, sir, I do not."

"Do you object, stranger, to our irrigating?"

"No, sir." And they drank accordingly.

After a farther distance had been traversed, the supposed brigand again asked, "Stranger, do you fumigate?"

"If you mean smoke, sir, I do not."

"Do you object, stranger, to our fumigating?"

"No, sir." And they proceeded to smoke.

Irrigate and fumigate ... there they are, along with definitions nicely supplied, in dialogue from a book with a copyright of 1880.

Think I'm going to squirrel those words away, until the time is right to use them in one of my stories, perhaps in book #5 of the Silver Rush series?

You bet! (See next to last line...)

You Talking to Me?

 

 Camille here, remembering  Taxi Driver! Robert De Niro addressing . . .  you and me.

At least once a month, I stray from mysteries and plunge into nonfiction for a book group that has been meeting for more than 20 years. One of the latest books to set us thinking is "The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words say About Us," by J. Pennebaker, a social psychologist and language expert.

The book's premise is fascinating—computer programs can yield insights into our personalities by counting and categorizing words from thousands of emails, letters, and personal ads. I was especially interested in a chapter on how men and women "speak" in books and movies. Which writers make both men and women sound like men? (Shakespeare and Quentin Tarantino.) Both men and women sound like women? (Gertrude Stein and Woody Allen.) Men sound like men and women sound like women? (Sam Shepard and Thornton Wilder.)

The book prompted me to wonder where I am on the spectrum. Do my female characters use more personal pronouns, as suggested by Pennebaker's research? Do my male characters shy away from social words, in favor of action words?  Numbers appeal to me, so I'm thinking about applying Pennebaker's computational methods to my writing.

So far, my research for dialogue hasn't involved computers, but rather careful listening to men and women of all ages and walks of life. I query my 35-year-old nephew on his language ("Do you call everyone 'Dude'?"); my 50-ish friends ("How much Net Lingo do you use?"); and my 9-year-old granddaughter ("What do you say when you think something is pretty?")

It's hard to imagine how this piece of "dialogue" came to be in the Taxi Driver scene. Some say De Niro improvised the whole scene. A computer analysis like Pennebaker's would yield 2 personal pronouns in the main, 4-word sentence, plus one functional word, "to," -- decidedly female.

I don't know about you, but I get a strong masculine vibe from this scene. Maybe dialogue isn't the sum of certain word values, but a creative juxtaposition of ordinary words, character, and setting.

 

Dialogue

Dialogue is fun, useful, and educational. Were it a food, it would be a miracle, including every significant nutrient.

How better to understand your characters than to slip into the phrases and word choices, jokes and images he/she uses? (If national leaders did more of that, they might realize they were all the same species…but I digress.) Someone even said that understanding a nation’s humor teaches us most about the culture. It is the same with characters. How does the character refer to others, perceived as not quite like himself? What jokes does she find funny? What symbols do they all use to explain life and its vagaries? All these things let both reader and writer understand possible motivation, or lack thereof, for what the characters do in the story.

Dialogue speeds action. Pick up any novel where there are at least two or more pages of dialogue and consider just how fast that scene went. If you want tension, have an argument. If you want a seduction scene, you can raise the steam level and omit the mechanics of specific body parts. (Not that I have anything against body parts but some do.) You can set time, place and other details in the first chapter without one paragraph of description. That technique grabs your attention and keeps up the pace. Bet that’s a book a reader will buy.

And finally, to keep this fairly short, dialogue is a wonderful place to hide clues. What did the witness say—or not say? Want to check out how this is done? Try The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie. Or even consider that infamous Holmes detail about whether or not the dog barked. Or go back to The Murder of Richard Ackroyd and that odd blank in the story. A really skilled use of story-telling that hides clues right in front of you is Lehane’s Shutter Island. Many do not like the book, but Lehane's ability to manipulate what the reader sees through the way the character tells the story is masterful.

As for learning the art of dialogue, I go back to plays. Reading them is not the same as watching how actors use ordinary words (OK so Shakespeare’s speech wasn’t everyday stuff…) to convey all sorts of emotional shadings, but some playwrights do have that gift of writing clever lines that is worth studying by novelists. Think about Tennessee Williams, Edward Albee, Oscar Wilde, or Shaw. Just a few. There are many more.

In any case, dialogue is the vascular system of any book. Have fun with it.

From Mary Anna--Careful...people will talk...

We're talking about dialogue this week, and I'll confess that writing dialogue once terrified me.  I wrote a lot of (sadly unpublished) short stories when I was learning my craft, and the first few were all set in the first person.  In some ways, a first person story is all dialogue, but in other ways, there's hardly any dialogue.  In first person, it's easy to write things like, "I saw Sally and she told me that Josh had been acting suspicious lately.  I asked her why, and she said that he'd stopped coming to happy hour on Thursdays and and he always comes to happy hour on Thursdays."

Maybe this would be tolerable in a short story, but I really think it would have been better to hear Sally say, "Josh has been acting so weird.  He stopped coming to happy hour and karaoke isn't the same without his growling baritone."  The problem for an apprentice writer is that it's very intimidating to learn to handle all those rules governing the punctuation of dialogue.  And just thinking of all those quotation marks gave the younger me palpitations.

In problems of writing technique, and probably in problems of life, I think it's better to face the issue head-on.  Sometime in the 1980s, I set myself a project of writing a short story entirely in dialogue.  It is, yes, sadly unpublished, but by the time I finished, I was no longer intimidated by a few measly quotation marks.

I tell this story and about 364 others in my new writing book called Your Novel, Day by Day: A Fiction Writer's Companion.  In it, I reveal everything that I wish someone had told me ten years ago...okay, these days, it's more than twenty...  It's available in ebook and print editions, and here's a picture of its very pretty cover.  If you're into fiction writing, check it out...

Your Novel, Day by Day: A Fiction Writer's Companion

NEWS!! and Dialogue

NEWS FLASHES!!

• Sharan Newman reports that all of her mysteries are now available in all e-book formats. For instance, here are links to her digital books for a few of the many venues where eBooks are sold: Books-A-Million, Amazon (Kindle), Barnes and Noble (Nook), and eBooks.com.
• Camille Minichino and Ann Parker will join pal and fellow author Kelli Stanley next Sunday, May 20, at an AAUW "Murder, Mystery, Mayhem & Munchies" event from 2 to 4 p.m. in San Jose, California, at the History Park Fire House.

AND NOW... all that yackety-yak

This coming week, The LadyKillers turn their eyes to dialogue. Join us with your favorite cuppa each morning to discover what we have to say, and to add some digital dialogue of your own!

“Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.” ~Alfred Hitchcock

"I see people in terms of dialogue and I believe that people are their talk."
~Roddy Doyle (Novelist)

I was kind of excited about going to jail the first time and I learnt some great dialogue."
~Quentin Tarantino

Have Conference, Will Travel...And Write!

It's been a wacky few months. We jumped on the house-buying roller coaster last fall. In San Francisco, trying to purchase a home with one income is rather like trying to cure cancer with a band-aid. Everyone appreciates your effort, but they don't really think you can do it.

We did it! Our first house together--a house with clear, strong bones and twenty years of neglect:

I can't show you what the shower looked like. Not at all an appetizing sight.

After a lot of hard work by our contractor Paul Nash (Nash Construction), and by the good grace of the San Francisco Planning Commission, our lovely bathroom now looks like this:

 

The afternoon sun makes it look like a spa! And our shower is a sanctuary--here's a picture before the door was hung:

At the back of the shower, there's a bench! My husband and I plan to be carried out of this house feet-first. The stress and turmoil of recent days is easily washed away. Worth it. If anyone out there has ever lived in the Sunset District of San Francisco, you know why we went crazy here. In 1945-48, they built these tiny vestibule-style showers. After ten years of that, we wanted room. We got it, and then some!

The only thing I hadn't planned on was not quite finishing my draft of By The Numbers before the move. My beta readers have probably given up hope--but Saturday morning at 6:00 AM I'll be on a plane for Minneapolis--work is sending me to a conference. I'm going two days early to FINISH THE NOVEL!

Of course my beta readers will no doubt suggest plenty of revisions. But I've got to hit that first milestone while people still believe I'm a writer!

So, house buying, done, and I'll never have to do that again I hope! But the novel, just the first of many.

Now, what are you doing for fun this weekend?

The Rewards of Writing

By Margaret Lucke

Writing offers many rewards. For some authors the prizes include fame and fortune. While I'm waiting to achieve bestseller status, I measure success in less tangible ways. One of the big ones is the connections I make with readers.

When I began writing, the rewards that kept me going came from the writing process itself. I loved watching characters emerge from my mind and come alive on the page. It was great fun (and sometimes great frustration, but on balance more fun) to figure out what they were going to do next and how to bring their dilemmas to a satisfying conclusion. It was a thrill when I came up with the best word, the perfect phrase, the right image. I gained knowledge and insight along the way.

Then my first novel came out and I discovered the joy of having readers. Writing is a form of communication, after all. Having someone read what you write completes the loop. When a reader gets to know your characters, pays attention to your ideas, has an experience provided by your imagination, and responds in a positive way, then a new dimension of reward has been added.

I'll never forget the excitement I felt the first time a stranger came up to me and said, "I loved your book." It was at a group signing, and I was sitting at a table with three other mystery writers. I looked around to see whom this person was speaking to, because surely it couldn't be me. Then he started talking about specific aspects of the story that he enjoyed, that he thought the author had handled well. And it was my book he was describing. My critique group members, my agent, and my editor had all given me valuable feedback and encouragement along the way. But it was that first conversation with a reader, when I realized that what I wrote could have a real impact, that made me feel like I was really a writer.

I love it when readers speak and link the communication loop back to me. I enjoy knowing my latest tale has brightened their day. I appreciate it when they take the time to offer thoughtful suggestions. I'm touched when I learn that something I wrote made an impact on them.

In my novel A Relative Stranger, my detective Jess Randolph must cope with her mixed emotions when the father who walked on her as a child becomes the prime suspect in a murder and asks for her help. Soon after the book came out I received a letter that said, in part:

"Reading your book made me want to repair my relationship with my son from a previous marriage. I haven't seen him since he was a young boy. It was tough, but I made that call. Next month I'm going to his wedding."

I confess that this letter brought tears to my eyes. What an honor to have my book be his call to action. What a reward. Reading fiction can change someone's life. Writing fiction has certainly changed mine.

Readers, speak to me. I'm listening.

Letters from Readers - An Unlikely Hero

Not too long ago I blogged about my sojourn to the Romantic Times Book Lover's Conference in Chicago, Il. There, I met with fans who greeted me with wide eyes and books* clutched to their chests saying things like "I just looooove Alex Grace!" (the hero in some of my novels), or "is there going to be more Vlad? He's so sexy!" (my sour-puss, 113 year old teen vamp). Even, "I just started reading about Will. Hawwwt!" I figured I might get some reader letters swooning over Alex's dark curls, Vlad's brooding charm, or Will's soccer-God sculpt, which was why I was so surprised to find the following in my inbox one morning:

"Dear Ms. Jayne,

I really love your Underworld Detection Agency books. They are terrifically funny and original, but what I'm really writing about is your portrayal of Trolls in the book. It's not very often that you find a paranormal book as pro-troll as yours. I found it refreshing. While I found Alex Grace appealing in a stereo-typical (sic) romance novel hero kind of way, I was really drawn to Steve, the lichen covered troll. Will he be featured in more books? Have you considered writing a book from his perspective, or maybe making him more of the hero? I would love to discover more books that give trolls the credit they deserve.

Sincerely,

A Fan"

Though I still get scores more letters referencing my novel's "Hot Squad" of vampires, fallen angels, and Guardians, a solid trickle has come in swooning over Steve the Troll -- snaggled teeth, bleu cheese odor, and all. Steve's fans never cease to make me grin. And that's just another reason why I write: so even the underdog can be a hero.

 

*Okay, so the "books" they were clutching to their collective bosom were generally from romantic hard-hitters like Julia Quinn and Jill Shalvis, but this isn't their blog, now is it?

Letters from readers--it's why I write for kids

I write a column for a newspaper in my spare time and once got a cranky letter from “anonymous” who didn’t understand my sense of humor. I wish I could write “just kidding” at the end of every column, but my editor won’t let me. My editor said to “blow it off. People only write when they don’t like some, but rarely when they do.”

I’ve only received one negative letter about my Connor Westphal mystery series. The reader chastised me because she felt the dog in the series was neglected. “Connor never feeds the dog, walks the dog, grooms the dog…”

Now that I’m writing The Code Busters Club, a mystery series for kids, I get tons of letters! What a difference! I thought I’d share some of their wonderful comments with you today. Some are heartfelt, some hilarious. Watch out...you may want to write for kids yourself when you’re finished reading them…

Dear Penny Warner,
Thank you for showing us how to do the secret codes and it was very cool to learn about. I’m really going to miss you. PS. You are a great athor. Love Nami

Dear, Mrs. Warner,
Thanks for coming into our classroom personally to teach us about codes. My favorite code is the “semaphore” code (flags) because I can see it be used in sports and it is really cool to understand what the refs were doing. Sorry for not buying your books but I am not the biggest fan of books. Viln, Xozbtlm  (in code)

Dear Mrs. Warner,
Thank you for coming to Mr. B's class. But what i really want to talk about are those AWESOME  codes. I learned how to say, "Hi my name is Leah." And I'm going to buy Code Busters #1 from your series. Sincerely, Leah 

Dear Mrs.Warner
This is Destiny Santiago. I learned so much just from you. Once again thank you email me back. I'll be doing the same. I'll be showing people this book for now and forever.

 Dear Mrs. Warner
     Hello, My name is Natalie from Greenbrook/ When you taught us about sign language I fell in love with it because it was so fun, and now I do it daily and I am getting really good at it. I hope you come back to my school again, BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  From Natalie

 Thank You Mrs. Penny Warner for coming to our class. It was amazing to learn about codes that i never knew about! I have never met an author and i think its amazing that i had met an author, an amazing author, you. Thank you for your time.  Brianna

Dear Miss. Warner,
My name is Julia and I want to thank you for the amazing presentation you gave my class and I. I think Code Busters sound like a really great book and I already asked my parents if I could get it! My mom and I have a question though, what kind of people use  semaphore code? Would be blind or def people? Love,  Julia Rodriguez

Dear Mrs.Warner
Thank you for coming into to our class and telling all of us about your new book called Code Breaker. I am taking the slip home and getting your new, awesome book.     From,  Casey

 Dear Mrs. Warner,                                           
I am super elated to get the book and i went on your website about a million times! From, Amelia

Dear Ms.Penny Warner,
    Thank you for the presentation. I hope your next book will be about dragon mysteries - I love reading about them  . PS:  I love your book. It has so much good description.  Hope I learn to write like that.     From Christopher           

Dear Mrs. Warner,
Thank you for your kindness of coming to our school and taking time from your own imperative life. By the way, the free, super-awesome gadgets you gave us are AWESOME. I really liked the origami pocket storage. Thank you for personally signing the books. Sincerely, Yusuke.

Dear Mrs. Warner,
Thank you for the cool codes—they rock!!! I love the invisible pen. You can draw on anything but only on things your aloud to draw on of coucse and know one can see it. I wish I had brought money for the book. It was so cool to meat an author. I love to read. Fondly, Laura

Thank-you Mrs. Warner,
Thank you for the evidence. I use it every day to crack the codes, like chapter 12, the food fight. I read that yesterday. Thank you for all the work you put into your presentation.  From Michael

Dear Mrs. Warner,
I am writing to thank you for taking your personal time to fold the origami pockets. They are fun to play with when my mom is ouside watering the garden. I am using my code marker and putting notes under my mom’s pillow.  Love, Kendall.

Dear Penny Warner,
Thank you so much for coming to the library. It was awesome. I love the gadgets cause now I can trick my brother. It was very fun.  Sincerrly, Paulina

Dear Mrs. Warner,
I love your book Code Busters. Please make more books!  Your fan, Gabriella

Dear Mrs. Warner,
You recently came to the San Leandro Library to do a Code Busters Club "meeting".  Attached to this e-mail is my review for your new book Code Busters Club book 1 the search for the Skeleton Key.  I'm sorry for the weird signs at the beginning, our computer has been broken and we just go it fixed.  I hope that my review was helpful. – Tyler