Create a sense of place through telling details

I figured the other bloggers would do a great job of sharing their techniques regarding "telling details," so I thought I'd focus on just one aspect--creating a sense of place using the five senses to show telling details, plus a couple more tips.

    1. Sight: Include three things you see in the scene that are unique to your character's viewpoint. For example, if you're describing a school classroom, you might mention the clock (waiting for school to get out), the waste basket (where the teacher threw your homework), and the graffiti on your desk (a picture of the teacher lying dead on the floor.)

2. Sound: Include 2 things you hear, besides voices, such as a baby crying in the distance, a creak in the old fence gate, a buzzing bee hovering around your head, or coins in someone's pocket.

 3. Smell: Include something you smell in the air, such as someone's perfume, a pie baking in the kitchen, a friend's popcorn breath, the overflowing litter box, or mold in the attic.

4. Taste: Include something you taste, but not necessarily something you're eating, such as the morning's toothpaste, a mint you just popped in your mouth, peanut butter from today's lunch, or the memory of a kiss.

 
5. Touch: Include something you feel physically, such as the wind on your skin, a chill down your back, the grib of a strong hand, a baby pulling your hair, or your itchy nose.

                                                      6. Plus: Include an internal reaction to the setting, such as a gut reaction, raised goosebumps, shaking hands, a sweaty brow, or a cold shiver.

7. Plus: Include the time of day, such as brisk morning, hot afternoon, cooling evening, humid night, or 2 am sleeplessness.

                                                                           8. Plus: Include the weather, such as dark and stormy night, windy day, cloudy morning, flash flood warning, or smoggy summer.

 

 9. Finally: Include the overall mood, such as creepy, foreboding, serene, excitement, or black.

Comments

[rita lakin]

Always love your post.
Good advice
fun to look at, etc...

[Terry Shames]

Penny, this is brilliant! I'm going to print it out and keep it by my desk while I'm going through my last edits!

[Susan Shea]

Penny, Love the visual mnemonics you always include!

[Michael A. Black]

Good post, Penny. The one about Sight reminded me of my sixth grade teacher who once tore up my assignment in front of the entire class and threw it in the trash can. I still remember that and the shocked awe of the student sitting across from me (William Gurgle) as he watched my face.

[Penny Warner]

Thanks Rita!
Hope you're doing well.
Looking forward to your next book!

[Penny Warner]

Thanks, Terry!
Congrats on all your recent successes!

[Penny Warner]

Hi Susan,
Love the term visual mnemonics! Had to copy the spelling from your post.

[Penny Warner]

Michael,
Wow. I'm am so outraged at what that teacher did. NO teacher has the right to do that. Do you know the wonderful children's book illustrator, Stephen Kellogg. He wrote one of my favorite books, Ms. Nelson is Missing. After his second grade teacher looked at his artwork, she told him he would never be an artist. He didn't pick up drawing again until he was in college. Unbelievable. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Pat Morin]

Great examples. I always forget to add one of the above! Love the "Overall mood". It would be great fun to pop in one of those faces as I'm writing a scene. The scene with Michael Black's teacher would have a mean face next to the description of the teacher's actions. Very Mean.

[Camille Thompson]

Great tips! Your advice is always useful and easy to understand! Thanks!

[Penny Warner]

Ha Camille!
Maybe I should write picture books?

[Penny Warner]

Hi Pat,
I agree. Would love to meet that teacher today...
Hope she's a victim in one of Michael's books...
(Did I just say that out loud?)

[Michael A. Black]

I appreciate the outpouring of support, but it happened so long ago that it doesn't matter much now. I actually did get a measure of revenge though, by detailing another of her antics in an essay I wrote for the book, How I Got Published. It was called "A Sixth Grade Education."

[Penny Warner]

Michael, that's great.
Sometimes a bad teacher just motivates you more...

[rita lakin]

You've opened up another subject --childhood trauma. I had a teacher, also in 6th grade, who hated me. I have no idea why. She used to make fun of my clothes. What the hell can you say about clothes back in the century I went to school (tee hee)Just because I wore a red skirt and red blouse and red coat and red socks and red hat and red gloves. - what's so funny about that?
I think I killed her off in a TV show I wrote years ago. Writers are so lucky. We can kill people and not go to jail.

[Penny Warner]

Rita, that's the way to do it!

[Mysti Berry]

I too am going to print this out. I spend so much of my life in my head, I need the reminder to make it physical!!!! THANKS!

[Ann]

Love your list, Penny! And coming last to the "comment train" means I get to read what everyone else says about your post. :-)
Interesting re: the stories from school... and why are they all sixth grade, I wonder? Because I have a 6th grade story too:
I've never been a neatnik (chorus of ironic "Noooo foolin'" from those who know me), and my desk innards at school was no exception to the "messier the better" rule. One day I was sick, and one of my teachers wondered why a note he'd sent home w/me had not been answered. He came to my home room, and he and my homeroom teacher decided to checked out my desk and see if it was inside.... Long story short: When I came back to school, my desk was upside down in its spot, with the pile of ... everything ... EVERYwhere. I had to clean it all up while homeroom class went on around me.
Highly embarrassing for a shy kid.
And it didn't cure my messiness. So there.